More than Sexual Partners
Sure, sex dolls are beautiful pieces or work with long, lithe legs, slender waists, and proportions that any many would fawn over. They can be sexy and glamorous, but also very healing, which many men are in need of, but can’t find in a traditional partner. They can be your friend, companion, emotional support, a shoulder to cry on. But, can they emotionally replace people or intimate relationships? Let’s talk to our expert to learn more.
Q: Let’s start off simple. How would you define a sex doll?
A: Sex dolls are highly realistic toys, that are primarily intended for sexual pleasure, but has evolved into art collections for some. I’d imagine most people have a picture of the old inflatable dolls from old movies and reports come to mind, but that’s like comparing a 1930’s Ford to a modern-day Tesla: the technological advances and materials has made it possible to create a nearly perfect replica of a woman. Some people have more involved sexual fantasies, requiring visual and tactile stimulation in order to get the psychological satisfaction that comes along with sexual intercourse. For this reason, dolls are human form, but essentially, they are a derivative of sex toys for adults.
Q: You mentioned the physical and mental benefits of having a doll. With this in mind, is it narrow-minded to label them simply as sex dolls?
A: There is certainly some stigma attached to the term “sex doll.” To some, it implies a sexual deviance, while in reality, not all owners have sexual contact with their dolls – to these buyers, they simply collect them as a piece of artwork. For others, it can fill a void in their life; someone to eat with, enjoy a movie next to, and keep them company. I find the “sex doll” perspective to be too narrow in defining and understanding human sexuality, and when we broaden our minds to consider that as a spectrum, you’ll see how these align with very health sexual practices. I believe that these dolls will continue to grow in popularity, and with that, I’d expect that we’ll see a more discreet term for these types of partners.
Q: You covered how dolls are essentially sex toys, but how are they different from the more standard options available?
A: It depends on the person – some may find the cups or sleeves effective. However, men in general are very visual and sensually attuned, so this doesn’t work for everyone. Some users have higher demands and requirements for satisfaction, and this allows them a safe way to explore their fantasies or desires.
Q: Okay, gotcha. So is the purpose of the dolls more for companionship or intimacy?
A: A sex doll is able to fill a void in someone’s life that they may have, and can serve as a substitute source of fulfillment in day-to-day life. For some, this may be as simple as physical intimacy, while others find it to be more about the safe emotional space. There are some interesting overlaps between the psychology of love, but some users lean towards possessive or controlling behaviors. Obviously, it’s not acceptable to control a partner, so this allows an alternative outlet for these tendencies, specifically those at the extreme ends of the BDSM spectrum. Some studies indicate sex dolls can be a harm reduction tool for people with certain sexual deviances, while others believe dolls could serve as a gateway for sexual crime. Many of these studies are still currently taking place, so at this point, I can’t comment on my opinion on harm reduction vs. gateway, but it’s something I’ve been keeping my eyes on.
On the other hand, some people are just too busy or have already experience heartbreak, and they simply can’t take on another human’s emotional needs. This gives them the benefits of a relationship, without impeding on their lifestyle.
Q: Can a doll emotionally replace people, such as intimate partners, spouses, etc?
A: Absolutely not! Humans are complex, and while the added company from a doll can provide some solace, it can’t fulfill anyone’s full emotional needs, take care of you when you’re sick, go on adventures with you, or otherwise compensate for loss or voids in the psyche. Real human emotion requires give and take from two parties, which helps us shape our worldviews, opinions, and how we view ourselves. A doll can’t provide this sort of feedback, nor can they reciprocate emotions.
Real emotions hold the power to bring about change and influence the world around them. Many people have learned helplessness and ineffectiveness. One can imagine a doll responding a certain way, but this is strictly in the user’s innermost world, and doesn’t translate to the external world. They can be great tools for emotional reasons, but at the end of the day, no inanimate object is able to replace real, genuine human connection.
Q: Well, if people have real intimate relationships in life, why would they still want or need a sex doll?
A: Like most things here, there isn’t a one size fits all answer. Real human connections allow each party to have autonomy over themselves, while dolls can be used for those with more controlling or demanding sexual needs as we’ve covered earlier.
Also, sometimes in relationships, it’s not always possible for both partners to have the same sex drive. Instead of allowing this to settle into resentment, a doll provides an outlet to ensure everyone’s sexual needs are being met without it being a point of contention between lovers. Some users have noted they began using sex dolls when their significant other became sick or otherwise unable to fulfill their needs. Some couples even enjoy using a doll together when they want a threesome without the complications of trying to find a third! All that to say, when individuals and partners are unable to fully fill the other’s emotional or physical needs, a doll can be another means of satisfaction.
Q: Lastly, how should society view sex dolls and/or their users?
A: Such is human nature that we’ll look for differences and similarities to form bonds in some cases, while in others it drives hurtful stereotypes. Society tends to have a non-accepting view of sex dolls due to the stigma of them being deviant or otherwise unnatural. However, human sexuality can’t be confined to the norms of society, as these are highly individualized. As long as the use of dolls isn’t negative affecting one’s life and work, they’re not posing a risk to society, so I don’t see any reason to interfere. Sexuality is a private matter, so just because one person’s idea of a good time isn’t the same as another, doesn’t make it wrong. Ultimately, we all need to work to be more understanding and supportive of our differences, but that extends far beyond simply sex dolls, too. We can all be kind!
What a great way to wrap up! It’s true – we could all use to be a bit nicer to ourselves and others. What ways have dolls brought satisfaction to your life? As always, let me know what other questions you have about sex dolls, and I’ll do my best to cover it!